(๑>◡<๑) my puppy, alton ❤︎

omgosh….. my little puppy is already 6mos!!!

its almost so unbelievable that i’ve had my puppy in my life for such a while now, yet, barely any time at all! one thing I love, is watching him grow and discover life each day! everyday, he learns and discovers new places, people, and things!!

I feel so blessed and honored to be a pet parent! as you all probably know, I have two cats. my boy cat, I adopted a few years ago; his name is pumpkin. and, a year after I adopted pumpkin, I adopted another cat, and her name is Molly. she is a true princess! while, pumpkin is such a mans-man! LOL.

anyways, then, theres alton! he is suchhhhh a gem! he has been the best addition to our family, and my life 💖

Well, today is the last day of November. It is sooooo like me, to go totally AWOL for the entire month LMAO. As some of you may know, my birthday is Nov 3rd.

I originally began composing this post about two weeks or so ago. So, today, I am going to finish it ☺️ xoxo.

Today has been an emotional day for me. Luckily, this month doesn’t have 31 days so there won’t technically be a ‘one month’ anniversary for Halloween, aka Oct 31st lol. 😝 So, theres an ounce of hope. BUT. I’m still pretty damn sad that my friend is no longer coexisting w me physically on this planet…. May God truly rest her beautiful soul!

As far as the grieving process, I can’t say I ever really see it getting ‘easier’… And, though it truly does feel harder each day, with the more questioning and the followed, self-soothing…. Which, in this case, is simply…. to, be Still. And, know that He is God. #amen.

Without going into too much detail, but, while still maintaining a sense of transparency… I will say, it truly fascinates me how the mind works. Our brain, is such a valuable thing! There are soooo many entities on earth, both natural and manmade, that cannot fathom, let alone mimic the true power and spectrum of the human brain. Our MANPOWER, is unconceivable. And, it cannot be duplicated.

I know, that was literally me saying a crap ton, while not saying a single damn thing at all…. And. that’s what I mean! Lets say: telepathy.

Without further. ado, I have to……. GET BACK TO WORK. And, rest assured 😇 I have been. I couldn’t be happier to be welcoming in the month of December. I am truly thankful to have the privilege of enjoying this season with all of my loved ones, and my family. I believe, the sky is soooooooo much lower than life’s limits! LET THAT SINK IN!!!!

When life gives you lemons, squeeze the f out them bETCHES lmao and, ADD SOME MUTHA EFFIN’ SUGA 😜🥴😂 hahahahaha I’m just kidding. But, this is the struggle.

I’m not the type of person to naturally sulk or basically ever open up about my feelings. I like to enjoy life, simply. However, with the recent experience I have been enduring, it feels impossible not to welcome, accept, and receive love and support from my loved ones. Well…. My loved ones, are my supporters; in addition to my day 1 friends.

Trust me, I can empathize with the feeling of going through something so profound and life-changing, perhaps even beg I say, unbelievable, and, just feeling a deep urge to sleep it away, dream it away…. Wait it away….. Pray it away….. Hope it away….. WISH it away. BUT. It’s not going anywhere–reality is reality!

All we can do, is embrace it. Embrace all of the beautiful, brave souls that are no longer residing in a physical form on this planet. There’s nothing wrong with learning how to love them as spirits, if you ask me. I know, it’s hard to imagine they can really even hear you, or be there. But…. Let me tell you a story…..

Yesterday, I called a local groomer to set Alton a next-morning appointment for a bath and blow dry. Well, when he was done at his appt the groomer called me but I missed the call. I look down at my phone to a new text and it says this…….

…..JUST WOW. Oddly, her last name initial was G, but on her shirt, I noticed the last initial was A…. Which, is the same as my friend Ariana. I was in shock, disbelief, and, a tiny sense of comfort!

What were the God-loving chances of that?! Idk…. But, it happened. And, LIFE happens. Just let it.

I am a firm believer that a sacrifice is never in vain. We need angels, as much (arguably if not more) as we need humans. I can accept it…. Even on the days that are tough.

On the flip side, have you ever known someone that impacted you but you never knew when they died….? Lol and that is a little heartbreaking as well.

Years ago, I used to work as a caregiver and I took care of a lady named Evelyn. She was such a hoot! LOL! She was 95 going on 96 and had suffered two strokes but was still clean as a whistle! LOL or, at least she hoped and thought! Her husband had already passed away years prior and she was well-known for always giving caregiving staff troubles.

I believe she simply didn’t enjoy having strangers in her home and she was a difficult old lady so anytime she complained, then she had to be assigned a new caretaker etc, etc! Well, she put up with me as long as she could stand it, before one day she gave me so much crap, I just told her if she wanted me to leave I would, and that was a wrap, folks! 😄

I had a lot going on in my personal life and overall, I was happy to find more work elsewhere. That doesn’t change the fact that I really enjoyed the time I did spend with Evelyn. She was so fiercely independent at such a legendary age! She had all of her ducks, and then some, in a steep and steady row! I had a soft spot for her because she had gotten take advantage of by other caregivers; they would steal her valuable, personal belongings.

Evelyn had tons of rose bushes and loved to keep a fresh bouquet of flowers inside, from outside in her garden. She was such a gem! She didn’t tolerate a lick of BS lmao! I mean it! Once, she wanted soup but it seems I didn’t warm it up hot enough for her enjoyment…. She cut into me like I was a toddler Lmfao! She didn’t give a DAMN.

Well, anyways, I always wondered how her life turned out, however much of it she had remaining. I think of her often, partially because of how amazing she was/is, but, the other part because she loved Alice in Wonderland, which is pretty popular from season to season.

HA! As silly as it may be, this blog post feels like a great deal of work and an accomplishment! I believe it’s easy to get caught up going at the pace of the world sometimes…. But, to be totally technical, MY perception of the world ends when MY world itself (i.e. my life) ends. Therefore, the world moves at MY pace, factually.

And. that is why is why I touch on this topic. YOUR version of ‘good enough’ IS enough. Always remember!!!

When your spirit parts ways with your body and life as we know it…. You ARE your one and only true judge. You will still, forever, and always be in the presence of: YOURSELF.

Take it for what it is, and, live life fulfilling YOUR purpose. Your God-given purpose.