hey loves! I have wanted to write a new post, but I have been feeling a little sad for the past few weeks, and that has held me back a bit. over the last week or so, one thought sticking with me, is the realization that: I am an influencer.
I am always greeted with a sense of bewilderment when I step outside of myself for a moment, and see myself from the outside looking in. from my observations, in life, we are constantly embodying experiences that are meant to give us a great sense of accomplishment. generally, when we set goals, we achieve them. when we set our heart on things, we acquire them. when we envision ourselves going places, and meeting people... before we notice, we're there, and we are meeting faces we had always imagined we would.
anyways, I say all of that to say, I realize how important my impact and legacy are; my impact while I am alive on this planet, and my legacy once I am passed on from this lifetime. more, I see how capable I am. I can truly accomplish anything I put my mind to!
Your essence is pure magic ✨
being an influencer is one of the biggest commitments of my life, and one of the most challenging! although living as an influencer is a never-changing aspect of who I am, I will always be in a state of 'becoming', as an influencer. it is, who I have always been becoming.
as scary as it may be to truly follow our destiny, I find it to be equally as exciting... if not more. there is a sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing and confirming we are walking the right path. in case you wonder how we are able to identify if we are walking the right path and receiving confirmations from the universe, I would be happy to use myself as an example, to lend a bit of insight.
have you ever felt a bit apprehensive when it comes to prophesying over your own life? personally, I have always felt a bit shy when I consider prophesying over my own life. intuitively, I feel we all deeply know our truest self. however, I also believe there is a very fine line between prophesying over our own future, and developing a sense of 'God-complex' in the midst. with that, I would like to lend a little insight on how I am able to teeter in the middle, and maintain humility while still living a life of prophetic fulfillment.
typically, I wouldn't really open up regarding this aspect of my life, and, who I am. but, through meditation and reflection, I have decided to open up a bit more. I am sharing my personal introspection because I believe it is part of my calling. while I would consider myself to be quite private and some consider me to be rather mysterious, I find beauty in transparency. transparency lends so much love to others around us. through transparency we are able to closely relate to others, and build a safe space where we can thrive as a community.
when I was a young child, I'd always dreamt of who I would grow-up to be. I recall a window in time where I was care-free and clueless.... similarly, I recall a window in time where I began to gain consciousness. I would have to say, my consciousness was sparked by my daily experiences and different tides of emotions. as I grew older and encountered more and more experiences in my life, I became more and more conscious. even though I was gaining consciousness in regards to my experiences and beginning to learn of my emotions, I did not particularly have much knowledge or understanding of everything happening both around me, and inside of me.
I was never taught an understanding of emotions. I did not learn at a young age how to identify my emotions, process them, and work through them. I was not informed on positive emotions versus negative emotions, or, good coping mechanisms versus bad coping mechanisms, etc.
my earliest memories of recognizing my own feelings and consciousness are typically instances where I was alone. as a baby, a young child, and practically all of my life, I have been very alone. if you were to ask my mother of stories from my very early childhood, you'd hear stories of me attempting to climb out of my baby crib and getting myself stuck in the bars, or, stories of my mothers' ex-husband removing the wheels on my baby walker and setting me in the center of the room where I would throw a tantrum, and of course, attempt to break free. she would say I was always getting into things, and that was her husbands' solution in dealing with me while she was away working. ironically, I vividly remember these instances.
the memories of loneliness are dense amongst my recollections of my childhood. for example, when I would get the chance to visit with my dad every other weekend, per he and my mothers' court order, I was faced with more instances and feelings of loneliness. my dad married a woman who never supported his relationship with me, and, they had a baby. my little sister is a true beauty. however, with the division in our 'family', I was faced with constant segregation from my father, which left me feeling very lonely. his ex-wife was similar to a bully, and, she wanted my father all to herself and their baby.
Dive deep into your own soul ✨
unfortunately, I could pile on with stories similar to these. nevertheless, the point I am making, is, through my loneliness, I became conscious of my own emotions, and from there, I have been on a never-ending learning journey into my own heart and consciousness. this, my friends, is what you will often hear being referred to as 'connecting with our inner child'. and, that is my secret.
the way I am able to keep striving towards fulfilling my life prophecy, and keeping humble, is by way of connecting with my inner child and healing from the inside out. this brings me full-circle to my original reflection: my role as an influencer.
the role of leadership has always come naturally for me, however the role of an influencer is more of a struggle. I find myself struggling to juggle the responsibilities of an influencer due to my constant feelings of loneliness and trouble maintaining social relationships with others. the role of an influencer requires a lot from one person, as I'm sure many may imagine. similar to trading, where we see technical, fundamental, and sentimental analysis, the life of an influencer is similarly complex. as an influencer, you must harness the ability to wear numerous hats at one time, along with being able to switch your hat continually.
despite the daily struggles I am faced with, I am proud of myself and happy to say, I am forging forward along my life-long destiny! the most amusing part of my journey is, I have dreamt of becoming this person since I was a child. the essence of who I am, has always remained constant. when I sit back and really draw the comparisons, I am humored by how in-control of my life I have always been... this is truly a magical feeling.
revisiting the topic of knowing and confirmation, have you ever found yourself pursuing something as an adult, only to later down the line come to the realization that your passion for the pursuit actually stems far back into your childhood? I have found myself in this position time and time again. to be totally honest, it is a bit surreal. with my diy nail journey and the Goddess Gang alone, I see roots leading back to my childhood! I have always been obsessed with self-expression through nail art, and, when I was in middle school I started a clique called Dirty Flirty Clique LOL. there was an application process for it, and everything. isn't it insane how life works out? now, here I am, subconsciously following my life-long dreams!
often, when I notice myself pursuing different passions throughout my life, I ask myself if said passion stems back to the child version of myself. if it does, then, I know it is likely a true passion. if it doesn't, I ask myself where the desire/passion stems from, and, whether or not it is worth pursuing. what I find resonates with my inner-child the most, is when I can think back and realize my goals and passions stem back into my childhood, back when I was the most innocent and not as easily impressed upon by my surroundings.
Free your mind, release your worries, walk in faith, live with hope ✨
May your heart overflow with Love ✨
occasionally, when I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed and burnt out, I begin to question if any of this is 'worth it'...
realistically, my nail art journey, my blog-site, all of the endeavors I pursue in relation to my role as an influencer, it is all optional. truthfully, there is no current monetary gain in this journey for me. everything I have pursued in relation to this endeavor, it has all been birthed, rooted, and stemmed from pure passion and love. love for self, and for others. love for art, self-expression, community. a passion to grow, create, and succeed.
when I am feeling down, and second-guessing myself, I have to remind myself that one day, my efforts will all pay off! there will come a time in my journey where I will look back in gratitude, likely with tears in my eyes. even though I am still awaiting my greatest successes yet to come, that lends no excuse not to enjoy the little successes along the way!
all too often, people form the misperception that success is an easy, speedy process. realistically, it is not. success is most often a long, drawn-out process. and, as I'm sure you may know, success gained quickly is typically not sustainable. setbacks and delayed gratification are the actual beauty of our journey. if it were not for a few setbacks and delays from time to time, the victories wouldn't be nearly as impactful and elating!
I hope my post lends comfort to others and gives insight into how to navigate a challenging journey in real-time. thank you so much for being here with me for the ride! if you find yourself feeling sad, or discouraged, please remember, minor setbacks and challenges are the beauty of the big picture, in the end.
Remembering You ✨
RIH Ariana ✨
on a final note, I would like to remind you all of my beautiful, late friend, Ariana. October 18th was the 1-year anniversary of her passing. naturally, the anniversary was a sad time for me. but, the sadness is not just a one day ordeal... it feels more like a time-lapse.
needless to say, losing a friend to self-harm/suicide is something I was not prepared to endure, nor would I have been able to prepare for such an occurrence. I have had a hard time coping with the grief process, as, it isn't something I could have ever mentally or emotionally prepared for. I am learning to endure grief, and cope with it. the process brings me back to my childhood, where I often felt alone, and sad.
while navigating my newfound encounters with this sort of grief, the passing of time has felt painful. it often feels counterproductive to my own personal journey, especially in my role and obligations as an influencer. taking the time out of my life/work to process my feelings of grief has been a trying and humiliating experience. however, just as any other obstacle, I am embracing this emotional setback and embracing the role it is meant to play in the bigger picture of my journey.
here's to a bit of transparency! 🥂💕 I love you all so much! rest in heaven to a truly beautiful soul ✨ #projectarianaforever!
comment below if this post resonates with you, and let me know if you'd like more posts like this in the future. til next time xoxo.
hey loves! I have wanted to write a new post, but I have been feeling a little sad for the past few weeks, and that has held me back a bit. over the last week or so, one thought sticking with me, is the realization that: I am an influencer.
I am always greeted with a sense of bewilderment when I step outside of myself for a moment, and see myself from the outside looking in. from my observations, in life, we are constantly embodying experiences that are meant to give us a great sense of accomplishment. generally, when we set goals, we achieve them. when we set our heart on things, we acquire them. when we envision ourselves going places, and meeting people... before we notice, we're there, and we are meeting faces we had always imagined we would.
anyways, I say all of that to say, I realize how important my impact and legacy are; my impact while I am alive on this planet, and my legacy once I am passed on from this lifetime. more, I see how capable I am. I can truly accomplish anything I put my mind to!
Your essence is pure magic ✨
being an influencer is one of the biggest commitments of my life, and one of the most challenging! although living as an influencer is a never-changing aspect of who I am, I will always be in a state of 'becoming', as an influencer. it is, who I have always been becoming.
as scary as it may be to truly follow our destiny, I find it to be equally as exciting... if not more. there is a sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing and confirming we are walking the right path. in case you wonder how we are able to identify if we are walking the right path and receiving confirmations from the universe, I would be happy to use myself as an example, to lend a bit of insight.
have you ever felt a bit apprehensive when it comes to prophesying over your own life? personally, I have always felt a bit shy when I consider prophesying over my own life. intuitively, I feel we all deeply know our truest self. however, I also believe there is a very fine line between prophesying over our own future, and developing a sense of 'God-complex' in the midst. with that, I would like to lend a little insight on how I am able to teeter in the middle, and maintain humility while still living a life of prophetic fulfillment.
typically, I wouldn't really open up regarding this aspect of my life, and, who I am. but, through meditation and reflection, I have decided to open up a bit more. I am sharing my personal introspection because I believe it is part of my calling. while I would consider myself to be quite private and some consider me to be rather mysterious, I find beauty in transparency. transparency lends so much love to others around us. through transparency we are able to closely relate to others, and build a safe space where we can thrive as a community.
when I was a young child, I'd always dreamt of who I would grow-up to be. I recall a window in time where I was care-free and clueless.... similarly, I recall a window in time where I began to gain consciousness. I would have to say, my consciousness was sparked by my daily experiences and different tides of emotions. as I grew older and encountered more and more experiences in my life, I became more and more conscious. even though I was gaining consciousness in regards to my experiences and beginning to learn of my emotions, I did not particularly have much knowledge or understanding of everything happening both around me, and inside of me.
I was never taught an understanding of emotions. I did not learn at a young age how to identify my emotions, process them, and work through them. I was not informed on positive emotions versus negative emotions, or, good coping mechanisms versus bad coping mechanisms, etc.
my earliest memories of recognizing my own feelings and consciousness are typically instances where I was alone. as a baby, a young child, and practically all of my life, I have been very alone. if you were to ask my mother of stories from my very early childhood, you'd hear stories of me attempting to climb out of my baby crib and getting myself stuck in the bars, or, stories of my mothers' ex-husband removing the wheels on my baby walker and setting me in the center of the room where I would throw a tantrum, and of course, attempt to break free. she would say I was always getting into things, and that was her husbands' solution in dealing with me while she was away working. ironically, I vividly remember these instances.
the memories of loneliness are dense amongst my recollections of my childhood. for example, when I would get the chance to visit with my dad every other weekend, per he and my mothers' court order, I was faced with more instances and feelings of loneliness. my dad married a woman who never supported his relationship with me, and, they had a baby. my little sister is a true beauty. however, with the division in our 'family', I was faced with constant segregation from my father, which left me feeling very lonely. his ex-wife was similar to a bully, and, she wanted my father all to herself and their baby.
Dive deep into your own soul ✨
unfortunately, I could pile on with stories similar to these. nevertheless, the point I am making, is, through my loneliness, I became conscious of my own emotions, and from there, I have been on a never-ending learning journey into my own heart and consciousness. this, my friends, is what you will often hear being referred to as 'connecting with our inner child'. and, that is my secret.
the way I am able to keep striving towards fulfilling my life prophecy, and keeping humble, is by way of connecting with my inner child and healing from the inside out. this brings me full-circle to my original reflection: my role as an influencer.
the role of leadership has always come naturally for me, however the role of an influencer is more of a struggle. I find myself struggling to juggle the responsibilities of an influencer due to my constant feelings of loneliness and trouble maintaining social relationships with others. the role of an influencer requires a lot from one person, as I'm sure many may imagine. similar to trading, where we see technical, fundamental, and sentimental analysis, the life of an influencer is similarly complex. as an influencer, you must harness the ability to wear numerous hats at one time, along with being able to switch your hat continually.
despite the daily struggles I am faced with, I am proud of myself and happy to say, I am forging forward along my life-long destiny! the most amusing part of my journey is, I have dreamt of becoming this person since I was a child. the essence of who I am, has always remained constant. when I sit back and really draw the comparisons, I am humored by how in-control of my life I have always been... this is truly a magical feeling.
revisiting the topic of knowing and confirmation, have you ever found yourself pursuing something as an adult, only to later down the line come to the realization that your passion for the pursuit actually stems far back into your childhood? I have found myself in this position time and time again. to be totally honest, it is a bit surreal. with my diy nail journey and the Goddess Gang alone, I see roots leading back to my childhood! I have always been obsessed with self-expression through nail art, and, when I was in middle school I started a clique called Dirty Flirty Clique LOL. there was an application process for it, and everything. isn't it insane how life works out? now, here I am, subconsciously following my life-long dreams!
often, when I notice myself pursuing different passions throughout my life, I ask myself if said passion stems back to the child version of myself. if it does, then, I know it is likely a true passion. if it doesn't, I ask myself where the desire/passion stems from, and, whether or not it is worth pursuing. what I find resonates with my inner-child the most, is when I can think back and realize my goals and passions stem back into my childhood, back when I was the most innocent and not as easily impressed upon by my surroundings.
Free your mind, release your worries, walk in faith, live with hope ✨
May your heart overflow with Love ✨
occasionally, when I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed and burnt out, I begin to question if any of this is 'worth it'...
realistically, my nail art journey, my blog-site, all of the endeavors I pursue in relation to my role as an influencer, it is all optional. truthfully, there is no current monetary gain in this journey for me. everything I have pursued in relation to this endeavor, it has all been birthed, rooted, and stemmed from pure passion and love. love for self, and for others. love for art, self-expression, community. a passion to grow, create, and succeed.
when I am feeling down, and second-guessing myself, I have to remind myself that one day, my efforts will all pay off! there will come a time in my journey where I will look back in gratitude, likely with tears in my eyes. even though I am still awaiting my greatest successes yet to come, that lends no excuse not to enjoy the little successes along the way!
all too often, people form the misperception that success is an easy, speedy process. realistically, it is not. success is most often a long, drawn-out process. and, as I'm sure you may know, success gained quickly is typically not sustainable. setbacks and delayed gratification are the actual beauty of our journey. if it were not for a few setbacks and delays from time to time, the victories wouldn't be nearly as impactful and elating!
I hope my post lends comfort to others and gives insight into how to navigate a challenging journey in real-time. thank you so much for being here with me for the ride! if you find yourself feeling sad, or discouraged, please remember, minor setbacks and challenges are the beauty of the big picture, in the end.
Remembering You ✨
RIH Ariana ✨
on a final note, I would like to remind you all of my beautiful, late friend, Ariana. October 18th was the 1-year anniversary of her passing. naturally, the anniversary was a sad time for me. but, the sadness is not just a one day ordeal... it feels more like a time-lapse.
needless to say, losing a friend to self-harm/suicide is something I was not prepared to endure, nor would I have been able to prepare for such an occurrence. I have had a hard time coping with the grief process, as, it isn't something I could have ever mentally or emotionally prepared for. I am learning to endure grief, and cope with it. the process brings me back to my childhood, where I often felt alone, and sad.
while navigating my newfound encounters with this sort of grief, the passing of time has felt painful. it often feels counterproductive to my own personal journey, especially in my role and obligations as an influencer. taking the time out of my life/work to process my feelings of grief has been a trying and humiliating experience. however, just as any other obstacle, I am embracing this emotional setback and embracing the role it is meant to play in the bigger picture of my journey.
here's to a bit of transparency! 🥂💕 I love you all so much! rest in heaven to a truly beautiful soul ✨ #projectarianaforever!
comment below if this post resonates with you, and let me know if you'd like more posts like this in the future. til next time xoxo.
