babes! how have you been?
it hasn’t slipped my attention that I haven’t shared a new post in forever! I have missed connecting with you all here, so much…. you have no idea!
theres no excuse, LOL! I need to be more active on my blog. however, I will say, the time away has not been in vain! I have been manifesting sooooo many magical creations! I will be so happy to share more when the time comes!
how has everyones 2024 been so far? can you believe Spring is finally here?! I AM ECSTATIC! Spring is my favorite season, after SUMMER!
I want to thank anyone reading this post, from the depths of my heart! All of my true supporters and my virtual friends who pray for me and support me in ways that dont always get recognition, I want to take a special time out to let you know how deeply you are appreciated!
as I’d previously stated, my time away has not been in vain, and, it never is. since October of last year, I have been afoot a new journey. I will admit, it feels a little redundant to continue saying this, but, since the loss of my childhood friend, to suicide, life has NOT been the same for me. it hasn’t been worse, by any means. it has been something to learn to become accustomed to. part of that, is to continue to keep the legacy of my friend alive, by always paying homage to the impact her loss has had on me as a person, and my journey as a whole. I guess it would be safe to say, you may have to experience it, in order to know what that feels like or understand. and, I am nobody to give advice on the situation, because, all of this is new to me. which is why I enjoy opening up to you all about it, throughout the process.
every time I imagine my time away, in real time, I look at myself and ask myself what the heck is wrong with me?! and I say to myself, theres no reason for your absence. and, then, it dawns on me…. the reason I have been away so long. and, I guess the most trying part about it, is that, I am never going to be the person I was before, again. I am new now. and, for better or worse, that is something I’ve had to get adjusted to. that is what is so tricky about life, and, grief. my friends’ absence on this planet is everything short of a loss, even though, the feeling of her absence here, feels like a great loss. how do you tell your mind and heart what to think or feel in those cases?
I don’t know. which…. might I add, has also been a very impactful touch to my life, unexpectedly.
we can’t control much in our lives, if we are honest… and, losing someone you love to suicide is SURE to make that apparent! I have found myself being way less harsh on myself. I am alive. I am well. I am breathing. my heart is beating. I need to be thankful for those things, in their simplicity, AND, their ENTIRETY!
that is the message I want us to harp over this season….
I have absolutely no idea what my summer has in store! I have found myself in an awkward place lately, as far as…. adapting to the natural day-to-day facets of life, and society.
I often find myself becoming more and more self-aware, and, conscious of life’s greater purpose, and, its’ meaning. However, there is a fine line between being aware, and, becoming overly absorbed. If we become too entrenched in pursuing ‘life’s deeper purpose’, we become susceptible to oblivion with regard to the purpose of life itself… which, is to be present, at all times, in every moment, as much as we can be.
when we are ‘young, wild, and free’, we don’t really understand the state of affaires in life. I find, that the older I get, the more I realize, I’m not a young gal anymore… I have children, which are lifelong commitments within themselves….
finding a balance between everything, has been the main challenge for me. and, what helps me cope, is to simply be okay with taking life one small day at a time. some days pass by faster than others… some are better than others, and some, we quite frankly could care to forget altogether. but, in the grand scheme of everything, each moment of each day matters equally, both within itself and as a part of the whole.
in life, the less time and effort we spend looking, searching, and aspiring for validation, support, and acceptance, the better! in the overall make-up of WHO we are, do the opinions and support, or lack thereof, of others truly serve a purpose?
realistically, the answer is: no.
throughout life’s journey I have found myself amongst many different people/cultures, and, they all have their own beliefs, practices, and baseline.
I have gotten acquainted with others who have less than me, some who have more, and others who are just about equal…. I’ve been acquainted with people who’ve traveled the world, and others who have never left the place they were born…. and, overall, they are all unique in their own way.
I can tell you the ways they are different, or, I can tell you the one way they are all the same….
and that is, their INDIVIDUALITY. no two humans are the same…. even twins 👀😌
while there are a million opportunities to compare and contrast ourselves to others…. what is most important, in the grand scheme of life, is, WHO we are WITHIN OURSELVES.
my family and I went to see the new Godzilla movie and omggggg it was sooooo awesome!!!!! 🥰 we saw the previous Godzilla vs Kong movie together as a family also, except we watched that one from the OLED at home hahahaha 💙 ugh, I am legit sooooo obsessed w Godzilla & Kong!! I really loved this movie soooo much! super thankful to make such beautiful memories w my fam at AMC!
❤︎
my family and I could barely wait for Spring to hit, and we were already packed up and making our jolly way to the beachfront!
I have to tell you guys so much! first, this was such a special trip because it was Alton’s very first time ever visiting the beach! Aside from that, I have to tell you all how proud of myself I am….
Normally, I would take any opportunity to try to get a really nice sun tan…… And, typically, that entails, sunburn LOL! A couple of years ago, I got the worst sunburn of my entire life…. It was bad! From that point forward, I promised myself I wouldn’t self-harm that way again. This visit to the beach was a great test for me, and, I passed! 🏝️
Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
Ariana. may God truly rest your beautiful heart and soul in eternal peace!
I love you so much! The months and time have been flying by, and though life must go on without you…. Theres not a second you aren’t by my side! I know it seems crazy to have such a loss, and yet, feel such a powerful gain. I don’t know, maybe it’s the way I’ve trained my mind, to play tricks on me…. But, in my heart, and in my mind, you are more ALIVE THAN EVER before! God, I know it sucks when the reality of life hits me, and I imagine forever until heaven without being able to see you or talk to you again…. I just try not to think of those times… At least, until I reach the end 💞 And we can smile at one another again 🥰 Rest so, so peacefully and whatever you do, don’t leave my side 😌 We are in for a RIDE AHEADDDDDD!!!!!! 🏇 xoxoxox
researching and exploring, in hopes of coming across reliable suicide awareness and prevention resources to introduce everyone to. before long, it became strikingly clear to me how scarce reliable resources are!
while there are many outlets that appear to promote and provide prevention and awareness, the reality is, they don’t. the response times can be lengthy and the engagement doesn’t exactly feel organic. it feels, strange.
from my experiences, when someone finds themselves in a dark place, they need a safe space to resort to, while being provided with realistic comfort. and, although I have come across resources that seem to have the best intentions at heart, I was still left wondering what I could personally do to help make a positive difference…
below, I have attached me and Ariana’s very first collab! on this day, the 28th day of April, in this year, the year of 2024, we birth Project Ari and share our newsletter with the deepest love and hope to anyone, and everyone, in need.
we can probably all agree, suicide isn’t easy to talk about. however, we need to have these uncomfortable interactions, in hopes of impacting and saving lives daily.
emotions can be hard to manage, and impulses can be uncontrollable at times. but, one day, one newsletter, one loved one at a time, we can and WILL make an impact to SAVE LIVES! ☮︎
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