well, if you’ve been keeping up with my posts for the last few days …. (I began writing this post about 10 days ago) first, sorry lol. and second, thanks for being here! I say sorry, because, I have to revisit the topic of grief, which wasn’t fun the first time. And, I thank you, because it is a blessing to have your attentiveness and support.
so, its been at least a week or two, and, I know I can’t continue hiding out in my room, waiting on life to make sense of the unexplainable; realistically, I need to get the heck up! and, I need to get back to work!
I know, it may seem like my posts have all been sort of random. however, they do intertwine, and, they all play a role in the blown-up image, when you step back to see the bigger picture, from afar.
I began with speaking on grief, and then, I elaborated on my commitment to my journey, and, lastly, I shared an appreciation post dedicated to my bf/bff ❤︎ and, today, it is my intention, to tie them altogether into one.
“Deep within us—no matter who we are—there lives a feeling of wanting to be lovable, of wanting to be the kind of person that others like to be with. And the greatest thing we can do is to let people know that they are loved and capable of loving.”
—Fred Rogers
personally, I do my best to live with a sense of consciousness in every single moment, living each day with purpose, remaining vigilant, and humble. and, my reasoning for that, stems deeply from my desire to be on the good side of life’s unpredictability.
what I mean is, I know life is unpredictable, and, out of my control, essentially. however I also know, each choice I make is an opportunity to either do what is right, or, what is ‘wrong’. based on the overall structure of life, I feel its safe to assume, the more I do right, the more life will give me positive unpredictability. And, vs versa for doing wrong.
But! what do you do when life deals you a hand that isn’t based on right, wrong, OR fairness, at all?! I guess it’s like what they say: “when life happens!” what do you do, then? And, that is what I have been trying to figure out for weeks now!
If you read my previous post, then you may recall my mention of loved ones I have lost along my life’s journey, and, all of those passings, were, more or less, from natural causes. Now, that could be left up for debate and I may or may not beg to differ myself. However, respectfully, they were considered passings of natural causes.
The recent passing of my friend, however, was different. Now that I think about it, it’s probably the second most impactful death I have experienced. With the first, being the passing of my nephews father, now that I really think about it……. (as you may notice, I try not to think about it :/ very sad) So, anyways, yeah….
This experience has been life altering. I am sure it would be easy to say its been life altering in a negative way… But, that would be a little selfish, perhaps? It has been life altering in a way that, is something that makes you fear God and cherish life…. while also having a place in your heart that is truly empty and living every experience with hopes of, what your loved one would have been doing or feeling if they were still alive. and, without having to say, simply wondering ‘where they are’ and ‘how they are existing wherever they may be’.
“Sooner and later you will see great changes made, dreadful horrors and vengeances. For as the Moon is thus led by its angel, the heavens draw near to the Balance.”
—Nostradamus
You are Loved.
Since, I can’t turn back the hands of time, nor can I stop them…. I am forced to experience life, from an altered perspective, forever. As beautiful as life can be, I would have to admit, it’s just a tiny bit less beautiful, knowing you aren’t a part of it, anymore.
The saddest thing about succumbing to our dark thoughts…. Is, the darkness we endure…. All the while, forgetting those who truly love us, care for us, and would drop their world to be there, in an instant. If only someone could have been there…. And even then, that would not have been enough to fill the void you were feeling! ♥︎
🥺😢 idk where to begin with this message to you, babe. I wish I would have been there, somehow! I wish you would have been in contact with me and I could have encouraged you, either with a message or even with my lifestyle and my perspective on life.
this turn of events has truly changed the lives of so many people who were lucky enough to know and love you. I was amazed to see how many came together in such a hurry to be there for you, after your passing! As flattering as it may be, I know you are somewhere just wondering, ‘where were those people when I was alive?’ And, that is truly a valid question. I have always remembered a profound quote, it goes: ‘give me my flowers while I am alive, don’t wait until I am dead, to do it!’
Such is life, right?
I know how hard life is, and, how challenging it was for you. I wish you felt more loved and more celebrated. Ironically, from the outside looking in, I know it seems you were one of the most loved and adored people on this planet. From what we see now, we know, you were not receiving the adequate love you wanted and needed; and, for that, I truly do empathize with you!
You deserve to still be alive.
The hardest part of acceptance in this, for me, is just, the fact that…. You DESERVE to still be alive. You DESERVE(D) to be loved and cherished! You are SO WORTHY! It is hard to accept that, you were so bombarded by the evil of this world, that, you just couldn’t take it anymore! That feeling, is something I can totally relate to, and, I can’t blame you.
Angels, don’t belong on this planet….
They truly do belong in heaven. And, I pray to every higher power there ever was, is, and will be…. That you are right on the inside of those pearly gates and you are Divinely HAPPY, WHOLE, AND, COMPLETE! I know your daddy is there, with you. Who would rather be on this planet? Ikr. But. I miss you on this planet, love! I definitely wish you were still here, gracing us with your eternal beauty and your smile!
Your legacy will ALWAYS live long through ME!
If there IS one good thing I have taken from this turn of events in my life, it is, that I NEED to keep living. I need to keep pushing thru each day! Any time I am feeling down, and, I question my purpose…. I will instantly think of YOU, and, I will remember your last message….. And, cherish you as a guardian angel and a legacy in spirit! ❤︎
⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆Babe! You are totally worthy of being loved, listened to, heard, cared for… Everything! And, even in our darkest moments, we are still worthy of a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen! I pray, that now, you are filled so abundantly with a love greater than anything you could ever fathom! You deserve it, you truly do! Godspeed, love. Rest peacefully in heavenଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊
๋⋆⭒˚｡⋆꒰ঌ❤︎໒꒱๋⋆｡˚⭒⋆
class of 2008❤︎
by Tupac Amaru Shakur
Take one’s adversity
Learn from their misfortune
Learn from their pain
Believe in something
Believe in yourself
Turn adversity into ambition
Now blossom into wealth
My cousin Bryan is the biggest angel in my life! he is literally such a beam of light in my life! as you can see from the photo, he is such a beautiful soul❣️
Bryan, came into my life in my teenage years, and, he wasn’t in my life for very long. He, was, a very vicarious being on this planet! However, the time we did spend together, was very wonderful and profound. We were both shocked when we learned we had the same exact favorite number! What made it so insane, was the fact that, our fav number is a 3-digit number LOL. The chances of that seemed to be soooo odd!
Unfortunately, my cousins life on earth was very short. I guess it’s kind of cool having him as an angel in heaven. And, my baby cousin Rueben ✦🤫💕 My cousin Bryans’ passing took our family by surprise, and me, by total shock! My cousin was swimming in the ocean when he passed away from cardiac arrest. Could you imagine? While so sad, also, so divine!
Well, for whatever it’s worth…. I know my cousin Bryan is always with me in spirit. Every single day he makes his presence known in my life. And, I have always been amazed at how protective of me he is. Ironically, he often even protects me….. from myself 👀 which, has been priceless!
A few days ago, my cousin Bryan told me to stop being so sad, and, remain hopeful. Luckily, my cousin also knew Ariana…. We all went to the same high school. And, one of the craziest things is when, your loved ones link up in heaven 🥴😄😇 And, they send you a message to let you know: everything will be okay ❤︎
So, admittedly, I feel it’s safe to pick back up…. And carry on, in loving memory of my loved ones who are no longer walking this planet…. Now, they hover in spirit ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Now, more than ever… I feel there is so much work to be done! While the challenge of moving forward holds obstacles for me, mentally and emotionally… Spiritually, I am filled to the top with hope.
I have to get back to work!
For the last few weeks, I have felt bad to keep moving forward with life, knowing there is someone I love that is dead now, and truly should still be alive. There is a sense of, commemoration that I felt obligated to pursue during this time.
Now, I know I am being led to keep forging forward, with a new purpose and motivation in life. Of course, all of the optimism in the world, doesn’t make it less challenging. But, it’s important to keep a positive perspective and have the best outlook for the benefit of the future.
In the presence of grief, we are forced to forge forward by any means! And, this is where, I really owe you all a VERY BIG THANKS!!
Thankfully, my part in the nail art community has brought me an eternal sense of purpose.
Further, the sense of accountability, and, knowing others are depending on me and continually inspired by my strength and my might to push forward, it is truly a privilege and an honor.
The role of an influencer, is a mighty one! And, thankfully, you all entrust me with the job! With the pressures and the rewards, I am truly filled with gratitude. Although, beneath it all, I am a human and a normal person too.
Throughout my journey, I realize, I am bound to be faced with setbacks and obstacles. Some, I will be able to prepare for in advance, and others, I won’t.
But, such is life!
Shedding light on the tragic and untimely loss of my loved one, I just wanted to express to you all how dedicated I am, to my purpose on this planet. And, I never would have imagined this being the case, but, the loss of my loved one, is a true source of inspiration for me. This, is a lifelong motivation and inspiration that I couldn’t forget, even if I wanted.
No matter how hard it may be for me, at times… I know, that, life is a blessing and a privilege.
And, so is my role as an influencer.
As a role model, my utmost concern is, simply to inspire! And, to be there! As you may know, I always welcome anyone and everyone to reach out to me via Instagram DM, during times of need, or anytime!!!! Interacting and collaborating are always at the top of my to-do list, as an influencer 🥰
babe!
what is your WHY?
“Your ‘Why’ is a statement of purpose that describes why you do the work you do and why you live the lifestyle you do. It is your calling.”
as quoted by lifeskillsthatmatter.com
My WHY has 100% always been, my family! 💕
Maybe it’s in my culture, or maybe it is simply a trait I’ve inherited somehow throughout my life…. But, even thinking all the way back to the young and innocent years of my childhood, I have ALWAYS been DEEPLY DRIVEN by my desires to protect and provide for my family.
Whenever life feels too tough or, I feel like I am just not made for this world, I always think of my family.
I reflect on how much they have always relied on me and been able to count on me time and time again.
Honestly, being in the Leadership position in life, work, family, etc., is FAR from easy…. And, sometimes, it can be far from IDEAL, tbh. I mean, truthfully, how much easier is it to be a follower, instead? (Great Leadership, in turn, requires both….. LOL, let that sink in. 👀)
When my back is against the wall and pressure rises, I instantly think of my family. And, I think of God…. my Almighty Father in Heaven. I reflect on His unconditional love for me, and, His mercies. I reflect on how He created me perfectly, and, with a purpose.
My life, is important…. And, I value the act of living, and Being. It is my sincere hope that everyone reading this post, can truthfully say the same for that of themselves and their own lives.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”
1 John 3:1
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”
Jeremiah 31:3
the very, very, very beautiful breath of life ❤︎
Now, I should give a slight disclaimer, that, throughout my most recent years and experiences in life, I have adhered to the fact that: family is who/what you make it. That being said, I would like to also shed light on the fact that, at some point, I had to learn to embrace and accept the fact that, ‘blood’ doesn’t make someone my ‘family’. And, just because I am related to someone ‘by blood’, that does not negate the fact I still have the freedom to embrace family from my own perception and understanding of reality. I do not need, or have, to set unrealistic expectations of others by way of them being ‘related to me’ &/or related to me as ‘family’.
If anyone is ever in a moment of mental and emotional trouble, I would say, reflect on your WHY! Draw your focus to having inner solitude and staying focused on the vision of your Legacy. How do you want to be remembered in this lifetime?
“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save…”
Zephaniah 3:17
Always remember:
Self-love, IS THE BEST LOVE!
❤︎
“I am misunderstood. I think I’m funny. I am a musical companion.”
♥︎Ann.
Heaven
ᴹⁱᵗˢᵏⁱ ♥︎
⇄ ◁◁ 𝚰𝚰 ▷▷ ↻
⁰⁰’²⁵ ━━●━━───── ⁰²’⁰⁸
ways to help save lives from suicide:
✓ Educate yourself/others about suicide
✓ Challenge the stigma surrounding suicide
✓ Support suicide prevention organizations/create a prevention organization yourself
✓ Utilize social media as a tool to raise suicide prevention and awareness
✓ Create a safe and supportive environment to foster suicide prevention
Suicide Prevention and Awareness
Suicide is real–prevention and awareness should be, too!
As awkward (and morbid) as it may feel…. Discussing suicide is essential. Because, to lose someone we love and care for to the demise of suicide, is, something I would say, is worth doing the very best we can in preventing!
I have to admit, I have never done (or attempted to do) this before. I have never been a public advocate for suicide prevention and awareness… However, I feel this is a cause I am being drawn to, and, I am interested in leaving a positive impact and assisting in saving lives. <𝟑 ༝༚༝༚
my advice.
Take into consideration learning about the warning signs, risk factors, and protective factors of suicide. Then, consider sharing your insights with friends, family, and even colleagues. This is a way to encourage open and honest conversations about suicide, while also being mindful to educate both yourself and others.
Once you have learned about the warning signs, risk factors, and protective factors as it pertains to suicide, and spoken with those close to you to share your insights…. Consider talking about suicide openly and without shame. Remember to be mindful of using respectful language when openly discussing suicide. Aim to dispel myths and misconceptions often associated with the topic.
If you would like to do even more to help, then, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider donating to organizations that provide suicide prevention services and research. And, if you are deeply passionate, consider establishing an organization of sorts, yourself! Otherwise, you could also seek to volunteer your time and skills to an organization that is already established. Do your part to advocate for policies that support suicide prevention.
When considering utilizing social media as a tool to share prevention and awareness, you can opt to share articles, videos, and infographics that foster suicide prevention. Remember to use relevant hashtags, for example, like #SuicidePrevention. Also, you could consider following and interacting with suicide prevention organizations via social media to keep up with the latest developments regarding suicide.
Most importantly, the best way to foster suicide prevention and awareness in your life, is to let people know you care about them and that you’re there for them. More, be a good listener and offer support to others without judgement. Lastly, do not hesitate to encourage others to seek professional help if they are struggling. You never know who they could meet or where life can take them, with a little loving push and the encouragement of a friend/loved one who is willing to listen and be understanding.
Suicide Prevention (CDC)
**Above, I have linked suicide prevention information from the CDC. This is a professional and reliable resource that has been verified and is trusted by the general public.
**Click the link below for worldwide resources for suicide help and support. Or, call/text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) for more assistance; available 24/7 in English & Spanish.
Help is available!
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